The day was overcast, a decided contrast to the hope I had marshaled together. I opened the door to unseasonable cold. Within seconds, my hands were numb; at least I couldn’t tell if they were shaking. Envelope held close, as if to bestow warmth to the manuscript within, I left for the post office.
A wind sent from some arctic clime buffeted me along the way. The distance, which prior had seemed so short, was now an arduous trek; my feet ached and my pace slowed. Still, I would not be daunted, would not turn back. I had a mission. I had to see it through.
Arriving at my destination brought me, besides respite from the cold, joy. Sadly, that was short-lived. A line hundreds—perhaps thousands—long snaked ahead. I reckoned my wait for the counter in years, if I was lucky. The sooner I could send that envelope, my burden, out, the sooner I could relax. Foolish thought, really: With my story out for consideration, I could torture myself with the possibility (inevitability?) of rejection, convince myself I’ll never write anything good enough, and on and on.
I could do those things, but I wouldn’t. Not yet, anyway. Just move with the line. So I did.
After an epoch, I stood before the clerk. Made my request. Affixed the postage, sealed the envelope, and put it into his—and Fate’s—hands.
Now “Chasing Shadows” is off to Realms of Fantasy, to mingle in the slush pile and await a verdict. I should feel tense, anxious, but I don’t. Really. I feel strangely optimistic; if the story doesn’t find a home there, I’ll do some research and try somewhere else. Not to mention I’ll be working on new projects in the meantime.
Maybe the response I get will break all this Zen. Maybe not. But I’m finally submitting again. That, I think, counts for a lot.